Mom's definitions

  1. IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
  2. AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.
  3. DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
  4. FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
  5. FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
  6. FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
  7. GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
  8. HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
  9. INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
  10. OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
  11. PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
  12. SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
  13. STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
  14. TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
  15. TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
  16. VERBAL: able to whine in words
  17. WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house.