Definitions

Mom's definitions

  1. IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

  2. AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.

  3. DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

  4. FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

  5. FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

  6. FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

  7. GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

  8. HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

  9. INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

  10. OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

  11. PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

  12. SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

  13. STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

  14. TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

  15. TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

  16. VERBAL: able to whine in words

  17. WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house.