A boy is walking along when he sees a frog on the side of the road. He picks up the frog, and the frog says to him, "I'm a beautiful princess. If you kiss me, I will turn back into myself." The boy smiles, puts the frog in his pocket, and continues walking.
After a while, the frog says, "Hey there! I'm a beautiful princess. If you kiss me, I'll turn back into myself and stay with you for a week." The boy looks at the frog, smiles, and keeps walking.
A little while later, the frog says, "Hey! Didn't you understand me? I'm a beautiful princess. If you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week and I'll do anything you want." The boy smiles and keeps walking.
Finally, the frog can't stand it anymore. It yells, "What's wrong with you? I've told you that I'm a beautiful princess, and I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The boy smiles again, and replies "I'm an engineering major. I don't have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool."
Comprehending Engineers - Take one
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Comprehending Engineers - Take Two
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."
Comprehending Engineers - Take Three
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
Comprehending Engineers - Take Four
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Comprehending Engineers - Take Five
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Comprehending Engineers - Take Six
A group of Q.A. inspectors were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing is just a mess.
An engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the inspectors and walks away.
After the engineer has gone, one inspector turns to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like an engineer. We're looking for the height and he gives us the length."